She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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