We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize