im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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