Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
