my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
