Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Houston, we have a squirter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
