If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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