with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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