He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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