You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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