Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
