Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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