I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
