i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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