get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
