shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize