Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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