how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
