Yo dont text me then not text me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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