People in love make me want to vomit
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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