nut hugger
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
