Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
