I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
