remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
either way he was missing a nipple.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
