i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
