Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
