I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
