Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
