There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
