omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
