Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
