Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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