I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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