Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
