Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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(781): Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe http://tfl.nu/gdp0

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.

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(814): In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words. http://tfl.nu/vqcb

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(917): View more from New York City

you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys

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(917): you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys http://tfl.nu/x3sf

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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(814): It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice. http://tfl.nu/t4ih

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(630): View more from Illinois

my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

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(630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise. http://tfl.nu/s84e

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(308): View more from Nebraska

and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs

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(308): and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs http://tfl.nu/sqwd

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(845): View more from New York

They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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(845): They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids. http://tfl.nu/mgv1

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(949): View more from California

Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.

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(949): Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that. http://tfl.nu/bq5s

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1

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(731): View more from Tennessee

i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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(731): i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview http://tfl.nu/woj8

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(845): View more from New York

all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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(845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27

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(503): View more from Oregon

I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...

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(503): I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here... http://tfl.nu/qb9a

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?

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(203): Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet? http://tfl.nu/v098

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(435): View more from Utah

Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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(435): Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed. http://tfl.nu/zk8r

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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(+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3

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