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Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
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