If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
