pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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