Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
