I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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