He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
from now on my penis is your penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
