bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
