Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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