The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
