is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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