Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
this will be a night to untag.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize