He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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