Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
