That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
