doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
