i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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