jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
