am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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