If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
