I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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