Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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