Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dignity is for republicans.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
