sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
