Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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