So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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