SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
