I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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