Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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