so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
