it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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