bring money and cleavage
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
