I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
