Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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