Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
